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When You Aren’t Amazing ~ by Lynn Cowell
If you’re like me, you want to be an amazing mom. Not perfect; you know that is out of the question. But like Galinda said in “Wicked”, we want to be “for good” in our kids lives.
There are times and seasons, though, when it feels as if we don’t have what it takes to be “for good”. I have painfully experienced these seasons; maybe you have too.
As a very young mom, my father was diagnosed with stage four cancer – lymphoma. I thought the best way I could support Dad would be to go to each of his chemotherapy sessions with him. Through this painful ordeal, I actually got one-on-one time with my dad that I never experienced growing. When he passed away four years later, I truly missed the dad I had gained.
This loss was new. I had never experienced pain like this; I wasn’t sure what I to do with it. As a homeschooling mom of children ages 9, 6 and 3, there were days when I felt I just couldn’t do “my job” that day. I remember one day, locking myself in the bathroom with the kids banging on the door, “Mommy, are you ok?” All I could say sob out was, “Please, just give Mommy some time to cry!”
On these days, I really needed someone to tell me, “It’s ok to just let it go.” Let the school, the cooking, the cleaning and most of all the expectation go. It would have been so good for my heart to hear a reassuring word that even if I wasn’t the “amazing mom” I wanted to be that day, that week…even that month, it was ok. God would fill in my gaps. My job was to focus on getting well and allowing my kids to see me working with God through that process.
Mom, are you in a season where you aren’t amazing? Maybe you are stuck in illness or grieving? I want to say to you today, “It’s ok to let it go.” God is your back up. He can and will fill in your gaps. Lean into Him and trust Him to do today what you cannot.
Lynn Cowell is a Proverbs 31 Ministries’ speaker and the author of “His Revolutionary Love” and “Devotions for a Revolutionary Year”. Connect with her more where she’s partnering to be wise women raising wiser daughters at www.LynnCowell.com.