When You Don’t “Deserve” it…
By Shelly Burke
Coming to terms with my midlife divorce, after two children and almost 23 years of marriage, was very difficult. I think one of the things I most had (and some days, still have) difficulty accepting is the fact that I didn’t do anything to “deserve” the divorce. Now, of course I wasn’t a “perfect” wife…some days probably not even a “good” wife. But I did not break our marriage vows and was willing to do anything to repair it; my now ex-husband was not.
In the past few years I’ve had friends who have also had things happened to them that they did not deserve. Cancer and other chronic illness. Children making bad choices in the midst of constant prayers and guidance. Broken relationships despite attempts to reconcile. Financial issues. Job loss. Despite our best efforts with our health, kids, relationships, finances, career and anything else in life, sometimes life just…happens…and often we are heartbroken at the results.
During the angry, sad, lonely and healing days of the last several years I have discovered several truths that remain in the midst of heartache:
- God is still present and He loves me! After years of working very little as a nurse, I asked Him for a job that was in the town in which I lived (I hate driving in bad weather), not too stressful (I had enough stress!), decent paying, and part time enough to allow me to continue publishing the Nebraska Family Times. In His love, He gave me a job that fit those specifications, and also gave me something that He knew I needed but didn’t even think to ask for…Christian friends that have quickly become the best friends I’ve ever had.
- I still have a mission in life. After my divorce I questioned whether I was qualified to publish a Christian, family publication. Then I realized that when I started with the Nebraska Family Times six years ago, God knew that I would become divorced. He gave me the opportunity while knowing what the future would bring.
- No matter what happens to me and my family here on earth, no matter what, I have the absolute knowledge of eternal life, in heaven, with my family and my Lord and Savior. Nothing can take that away from me—nothing!
Have you experienced a loss or circumstances that just are not what you expected from life? Please, be assured that you are not alone! God is with you, you have a mission, and you have heaven. In the midst of your struggles, remember these things. Seek Him. He hears your prayers. He knows your troubles. He loves you, so much that He sent His perfect Son—who certainly didn’t “deserve” His crucifixion—so that we could have eternal life!
There are disappointments and hurts and failures that just will not be resolved in this lifetime. However, we can all be absolutely certain that…. “God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” Revelation 21:4
Shelly is the Editor and Publisher of the Nebraska Family Times, a monthly regional newspaper with the mission “to inspire, encourage and motivate readers in their Christian walk”. She blogs at www.nebraskafamilytimes.blogspot.com. E-mail shelly at firstname.lastname@example.org with your mailing address to receive a FREE sample issue of the Nebraska Family Times.
Hello Beautiful Sparrows! God has recently been telling me, “Give it away” and that is just what I am doing! I’ve invited some beautiful souls from my favorite Facebook community for women in the 50+ season of life, The Consilium: A Collective Where Wisdom Meets Grace. Enjoy the words from their hearts and, if you don’t mind, would you give my friend, Shelly a hug by leaving a comment and giving a share or a tweet? And come on over to The Consilium – we would love to see you there!
I pray you Live Like You Know …where you are going,